Last week in Writing and Research I realized that I can graduate in only three years rather than four.
Three years.
Needless to say, that was the best day of my college career thusfar.

I don't hate college. I like it. I really do. I just want everything to be the way it was. I hated the predictable Old Lyme before but, now, I miss it. I never thought in a million years I would ever actually think that, but I really do. Scary, huh???

But three years. I'll still write my thesis on time, travel abroad to France during the summer, and then graduate my junior year. And I'll save SO much money that way, because I can work and save money, and not spend it on books and crappy meals. I really think I'm going to do it if I can. I'll just talk with my advisor about it. 

I completely forgot that Livejournal existed until the other day, when I decided to go through all the online-things that my parents wanted me to delete (Livejournal, AllPoetry, etc), and then I saw that I haven't updated in, oh, 49 weeks. That's almost a year. So, I just wanted to rediscover this, and reaquaint myself with allowing myself to just purge everything. I missed that.

Well, to start, I love/hate college. I love being able to just RELAX and not have class until 2:00 (but I must say goodbye to that next semester; more later). I love my friends, my clubs. I'm already assistant director of my a cappella group, and I have only been in it for two months!!! How did that happen? And, I just love it. I love that I get to pick out half our music, teach the group, lead warm-ups, and have just as much input as everyone who has been in it before. It's just amazing. And I love/hate/am scared of my select group, Singers, which is awesome. But really scary. I'm one of three freshman, but the only one that had to audition this year for it. The other two got in on scholarship. And, I am not that good, especially when compared to the senior and junior I sing with on the Soprano 1 part. It's so hard, and frustrating, and I get so nervous when I have to sing in front of everyone that I shake and almost pass out every time. I hate it. But, I love my director, Dr. Perry, and I love the singing and everything. I'm just petrified.

And, my classes... they suck. I hate the Honors program. I hate having a paper due every week, and debates, and research papers, and online discussions, and readings, et cetera, all in just two classes. I do more work for those classes than I ever did for everything all through high school. And, what kills me is that I'll spend 12 hours on a paper and get a 95, and then spend 3 hours on a paper for the same class and get a 92. I'd rather slack off with a lower grade, but I know that if I don't do so well, then I'll lose my scholarship. NO PRESSURE, right? I hate it.

And I just miss everyone. I had no idea how much I'd miss Old Lyme. I know that I didn't see everyone a lot over the summer, and that I might not have been a huge social butterfly, but I know that I miss just being able to see everyone everyday, even just in the hallways, in class, in chorus, whatever. I miss all of it. I miss everyone. I miss that status-quo of life in Old Lyme. It's awful.

I have to stop. I love college, I really do, but it's just a huge adjustment that I'm not really ready to let go of everything yet.

::hop, shuffle, ball-chain, step, hop, shuffle, ball-chain, step, heel, heel, heel, heel::

the end.

omg cathleen was right. her croissant really is good.

hey - i haven't updated in about 2 months, so i thought i'd just tell you that i'm still alive and breathing.

have i missed any lj drama? i hope not.

not much else to say.

meg.

this is the most beautiful song EVER (at least as of today):

Mignonne, allons voir si la rose
Qui ce matin avait déclose
Sa robe de pourpre au soleil,
A point perdu cette vêprée
Les plis de sa robe pourprée,
Et son teint au vôtre pareil.

Las ! Voyez comme en peu d’espace,
Mignonne, elle a dessus la place,
Las, las ces beautés laissé choir !
O vraiment marâtre Nature,
Puisqu’une telle fleur ne dure
Que du matin jusques au soir !

Donc, si vous me croyez, mignonne,
Tandis que votre âge fleuronne
En sa plus verte nouveauté,
Cueillez, cueillez votre jeunesse :
Comme à cette fleur, la vieillesse
Fera ternir votre beauté.


okay, it doesn't sound pretty now but it's amazing and a simple solo madrigal by anon...and i love it.

the end.
meg.

for nightmare before christmas icons, go to: x_starlet_xx ... that's where i got mine.

 

(i promised to credit so i did).

( for those of us ball procrastinators with a smaller wallet - have i a present for you! )

okay. i'm done procrastinating on my apush studying. if any of you wish to free me from the story of our nation's past i will be SO thankful. that's all for now.

meg.

life is better...

i got a hug from someone and it made it better...

i smiled...

i like that feeling...





as well as "..."s...

reduntant, no...?


bye.

♥

i will never be good enough for anything.

morning...damn.

nothing much going on...i'm only dying.

you know, i say that all the time and i know i'm not dying but i really think i am...like one day i just feel like i won't wake up...how morbid am i?

it doesn't help that he doesn't like me. i mean, i understand why and i'd be surprised if he actually liked me, but still i wish that he could! and i cry every time i think of it...why why why? i need help.

please?

meg.

my life is falling apart.

he's avoiding me.

all the selfconfidence that was mine of late is now gone.

help me.

meg.

1. Go into your LJ’s archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 people on your friends list.




"i was just so happy, it made me just beam."


i tag: tim, lindsie, laura, ashley, and mercedes.

have fun!
meg.

i am being eaten alive by the evil gods of apush...NO!!!


















APUSH sucks majorly.

the end.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY LALA!!!!!

 

♥ megs

good morning everyone. i'm just sitting here drinking my gross coffee (no sugar in the house...NO!!!) and saying hello.

i dreamt that mrs. gillette was back at school last night...a dream, nothing else.

and i burned my forehead last night. scalded, really...with alfredo sauce. feel free to laugh at my stupidity.

megs.